Getting married is the desire of every woman. Being single is like a menace particularly in Africa. This is one of the reasons women want to get married badly – some just want to marry ‘anything’, yes! I had a friend who said that, but the ‘anything’ became ‘something’ for her. But you might not be that lucky.
The obvious reason for this ‘desperation’ is the discrimination faced by single ladies: from family members, friends, at the workplace and even in the church. People already have the reasons why you are not married yet in their heads: “she has bad character, she is being choosy, she is a bitch, and so many more reasons . Very painful though, but put all that behind you and live your life.
As a single waiting woman instead of dwelling on the past or letting people’s words get to you, do the following as you wait because the man will definitely come. Psalm 68:6a “God sets the lonely in families,he leads out the prisoners with singing;” (NIV). Proverb 18:22 “He that finds a wife finds what is good and receives Favour from God”. So know it that you are a good thing waiting to be found”. So while you wait keep making yourself that good thing.
You have a purpose for your life whether married or single. So don’t waste your single years away by remaining docile, unproductive, depressed, keeping everything on hold believing that your life will get started when you are married.
Waiting is not an omen! I see it as an opportunity for personal growth, self-discovery, and preparation for the future. When you utilize this period, you are stronger, wiser, and fully ready for the love you desire.
You are an entity with a purpose, so while waiting and believing God for the right man get yourself busy with the following:
Self-Reflection and Healing:
Find yourself, find your values, find God, find your beliefs, find your passion. Self-discovery is a journey of SELF AWARENESS. This will help you to cultivate a deep sense of self-confidence, autonomy, and fulfillment, independent of your relationship status. If you have not discovered yourself before marriage it is a big error.
Be curious and open to new experiences. Move away from your parents’ cover, expand your horizon. Live your life, get that car, that land, if you got the money – just keep exploring what gives you joy. Know your strengths and weaknesses and consciously improve on your weaknesses. Kill fear and doubts. Make healthy relationships, people with good energies that will further motivate you to excel physically and spiritually.
Above all get closer to God! Make Him your best friend and companion! Because He is your only comforter when you are hit by words.
Heal from past hurts, traumas, or disappointments. They are bygones, only pick the lessons.
Cultivate Strong Relationships:
Nurture meaningful connections with friends, and family. Build a support system of trusted individuals who offer love, encouragement, and companionship. Stay away from people with bad energies even if they happen to be your parents – because they can push you into depression or pressure you against your will. Have a network of good empathic friends. Respect yourself, set boundaries and don’t lower your values because of desperation. Ones you are desperate and it is obvious, you have placed yourself in a disadvantaged position. Choose your friends and know when to quit – don’t beg people to love you.
Personal Development:
Invest in yourself. Consciously develop yourself. Pursue your aspirations head on. Further your education, learn new skills, keep yourself fit, just explore your hobbies.
This is a time for growth. Read books and learn by experience to strengthen your weaknesses. Train yourself to be strong in and out, learn the act of being independent. Use this period to become the best version of yourself. Keep moving purposefully, no down time, your man will discover you.
It is better you have no friend than have toxic ones.
Career and Financial Stability:
Be financially independent. Don’t ever put your life on hold because you are a single woman! Pursue your professional goals, business goals, increase your earning potential, and build a solid financial foundation. You are a good thing, so get yourself prepared to be the ‘helpmate’ that God has ordained you to be. Any man who is scared to propose because you are made does not worth your time. Real men look for independent women!
Embrace Independence:
As earlier said: discover yourself, build your values and belief system, keep improving on your weaknesses and pursue your dreams on your own terms – own your game and keep working towards self-sufficiency. Love yourself ( treat yourself well first) and keep doing things that give you joy.
Spiritual and Emotional Wellness:
Work consciously towards nurturing your spiritual and emotional well-being during the waiting period.
My sister! Serve God, you have no excuse. Take this period to develop spiritually. Work for God. Give Him your time, money and talents. Obey His commandments. Keep away from FORNICATION, it has a way of confusing reasoning.
Pray pray and pray! If there be any obstacle God will take it off and your marital destiny will be delivered to you gloriously.
Be Benevolent: Be a giver. Be helpful to your family and the poor. Whatever you can do to upgrade your family in this waiting period, do it if you have the means. Help the needy as much as you can.
Invest in durable property: Get the land if you can afford it. Furnish your house with beautiful and durable items – who knows, you might need them when the man finds you.
The journey of waiting for a marital breakthrough can be a transformative and empowering experience for women! It all depends on you, your mindset. Marriage is not a ticket to heaven so don’t kill yourself for it before you get there.
Having the right mindset and taking the steps mentioned above will help you scale through this period to become a better person and a good wife for the man you have been waiting for.
